Thursday, August 7, 2008

I Get Around

Aug 7

Vic is getting around a little bit, but finds that he is tired and out of breath just walking down the hallway. But he doesn't complain and yes, I still hover. Or maybe, I didn't realize how stubborn he is. lol I've shared with him my sage wisdom (don't gag) on how to survive post-ops, like eat something every 2 hours, even if it's just a bite; take the laxatives while taking the pain meds. . .and take the pain meds before you need them!

Vic will call the doc tomorrow to see if the pathology report is ready.

I am flip flopping on the surgery and chemo. I'm wondering if I should have another ultrasound to see if the tumor has grown larger. If it has, then I should do chemo first to shrink it. Am I just anxious to go bald? :-)

However, I have to wait until the BCRA gene testing comes in. Then I get to decide if I want to have a bilateral mastectomy - or just do the lumpectomy. Unfortunately, the results probably won't come in until the day before the lumpectomy. I have to remember that I am in control and I can cancel that surgery anytime I want to, so there!

Decisions, decisions, decisions. I thought I was done with them! It's the fuel behnd the rambling thoughts and stress. I so want this over and be able to sleep through the next 4 months. Wouldn't that be neat? I just go into hibernation and come out in January with it all behind me and 12" of hair. Dreams do come true, sometimes.

Time is running out to get all those things that I thought needed to be done before surgery done. Like cooking meals and freezing them so Vic or I can defrost and nuke. Or get the wig/hats/scarves/whatever purchased while I have energy. Finish organizing the upstairs "junk" room that I started in March or May (seems so long ago). Get the yard weeded and bushes/trees trimmed.

Okay, so we'll back it up a bit and do what we can. Anyone try those Dinners Are Ready places where they make meals and you freeze to serve later? Can I hire a cook/caterer? Can I just not go through this journey? Dang it. I don't want to be brave and strong.


  1. Hey Renee,

    You don't have to be "brave and strong." We will all be praying for you as we did for Vic, and the Lord will be your strength.

    I sure couldn't do it without Him. And even with the Lord, I can be a basket case at times, but knowing that people are praying, like when I had my last major back surgery 2 years ago, helped SOOO much!!! They put me on the church prayer chain, and kept posting on it during and after my surgery. (I ended up being in the hospital for 7 days, instead of the 3 they thought I would). It was so comforting to know everyone was praying.

    And the church was so great! They brought meals to us for 3 weeks after my surgery. I "almost" felt guilty. But there was no way I could cook. I could hardly walk, except very slowly with a walker. Felt like a 90 year old women.

    I am so thrilled that Vic's surgery went so well and they didn't have to cut him on that horrible, long squiggly line. That would have been so much harder to recover from and then the major scar he'd have.

    Just today, a girl (or women) from our church had surgery for breast cancer. She's probably around 45 years old. Her mom, also had breast cancer. So since they only found lumps in the one breast, she decided to have a complete mastectomy in both breasts, since it's in her family and so she doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

    It's on our church pray chain, and it looks like she came through fine and the doctor said, it was just "routine." So I know after she heals, she'll have reconstructive surgery. (Implants I guess.)

    One lady had both breasts removed recently and had fat from her stomach put in instead, and it looked so natural, and she lost all her stomach fat, which she was thrilled about.

    Renee, I've been emailing Dawn and I know they were praying for Vic along with us, and we all will be praying for your surgery ahead. And for all the "decisions" you have to make. I HATE surgery! But I know you'll be fine, because we'll all be holding you up in prayer.

    Is your surgery Aug. 20th? I can't remember the exact date. I guess you can write me back at:

    I just had to write on your blog here. Thanks for keeping us updated. It was great to be able to follow everything this week.

    Take care! You're in my thoughts, heart, and prayers!

    Love you!

  2. Well can another cousin of yours post on here too - eh? I agree with Kim, someone should be able to help you out with the meals. Even if you ask for help, it's no crime. But I'm sure someone would jump in to help, maybe even your mom might come over. Who knows?

    I've never had surgery, thank the Lord. Just childbirth, and that was enough, thank you. I'm a baby anyway, can't handle pain. But my mom sure had her share, back when they really did the "big" cuts!

    Yeah, we have been praying. And yes, it would be neat if this would all go away, like go into hibernation or something. You know, God can still do the impossible! He is the God of impossible circumstances! And that's something we all need to reminded of. Whatever you go through though, remember He's there with you! And we want to do all we can too, we love you! We is family girl, and don't you ever forget it, ya hear!

    Now don't overdue it, okay, take care of yourself, I mean it - ha! You need to rest though, that is one way a body can heal. Talking about hibernation is saying you need some!

    But I'll leave you alone for now and stop bossing you around! I'll try real hard anyway, it might be tough, but I'll try! Love ya much cuz! Till later, Dawn

  3. Oh, you girls do make me cry! I appreciate the support and words of encouragement.

    I know I've been so busy and keeping myself busy that I am getting to the "overly tired" state.

    Unfortunately, Vic and I never got involved with a church here, and it would be so nice to have the church ladies bring a meal. This whole thing has shown me ways that I can or need to step outside of my little world to help others. It will be my passion and goal!

    I love you both and wish you two were here. We'd have a crazy time with hats, scarves and wigs!

  4. I've been trying to get ahold of your daughter for a few reasons, the first to see how she is doing, but secondly, seeing about getting together with her so that her and I can make some freezer meals for her family as well as yours. I have some time coming up and I'd love to help out since after all, I think I've put you through enough gray hairs and stress in your lifetime as well!

    I'm glad to hear that Vic is doing so well and everything is going okay.

  5. Thank you Laura! I don't know if I emailed you the thank you and I'm sorry if I didn't. I hope you and Christy touched based, not just to cook foods, but just because you two are buddies.

    Yes, you DID give me a few grey hairs but I now have a wonderful hairdresser with the magic color.