Purple Haze

Aug 26

It's 10:34 pm and I should be asleep or passed out. I've taken more pain meds since seeing the doctor this morning than I have at any other time during the recuperation. Not sure what's going on.

Vic and I went to the surgeon's office so she could see the hematoma and we could go over the pathology report. She looked at the three incision areas and said things looked good but she could see all the bruising that took place as some is clearing up.

I told her about the weird feeling I had yesterday when I was combing my hair. I reached up too far, pain flared up and when I put my left arm down, it felt like the port didn't go back in place. It was just the weirdest feeling . . and of course I can make myself so nauseous just thinking about the port and the incisions. She pressed around the port site and it was a little uncomfortable. She was compassionate about my "wigginess" of having a foreign object in my body so close to the surface of the skin - the first time I've seen or felt this from her.

Picture the ta-ta like a clock, with the small hand on the 3 and the big hand on the 6. This little pie-shaped area was completely purple. The surgeon didn't think it was an infection as the actual incision wasn't red; however, the royal purple is now a lovely shade of mauve. And, it was very, very uncomfortable when she was pressing around to feel the hematoma. Okay, more than uncomfortable. I had my toes a wiggling and the face scrunched up doing the Lamaze breathing.

Before her touching the ta-ta, the stabbing pain had reduced considerably, but I still needed to "support" it with my hand. It's that jell-o jiggle that hurts even tho I'm wearing a bra 24/7. After her touching, I sooooo needed a pain pill but they were at home. Note to self: keep those things in your purse!

We talked about the pathology report. The tumor was smaller than they originally thought - it was 1.3 cm. This is the part that I don't understand 100%, so I need Mr. Pathology (aka Vic) to explain it again and draw a picture. When they remove the tumor, they take extra tissue surrounding the tumor. When the tumor and tissue is sent to the pathology department, they look to see if there are zero cancer cells in that extra tissue. They found some non-invasive cancer cells in a very small area of the extra tissue.

What it means is they will either do more surgery and remove more tissue or the radiation may get these cells. I'll post more info tomorrow about this once it is clear in my brain. BTW - the pain meds are starting to kick in so it's time for me to shut it down.

Given the pain level of the hematoma area, and the need for pain meds, plus holding my ta-ta as I walk around, the doc has not cleared me for work. She would like me to stay off until I see her next Wednesday. I can't do that financially, so if I use zero meds tomorrow, I will try to go into work on Thursday.

I sure wish the company would tell me in plain English if I can use donated sick leave. Is it because they don't want employees to abuse the system/procedure? I know I wouldn't as I can't stand to be home all the time doing nothing - especially now that Vic is back at work. I must be starting to feel well as some of the clutter is starting to bother me :-).

Over and out. . . .