Friday, August 22, 2008

Let's Make a Deal

Aug 22

I am in pain. I am nauseated because of the pain meds. I hate this. The port hurts. I can only sleep on my back, can't lay on my side at all. Today has been a fog of pain meds and finding food.

My colleagues sent a card and a gift. As I said before, they are the best! Vic got teary-voiced as he was reading some of the words of support. I couldn't read because of the pain meds. Is my dear husband "dealing" with my cancer?

Daughter Jenn had a melt down Wednesday night after my surgery. She was holding her breath and can now breathe she says. Sound familiar in one of my blogs about breathing? I am worried about her. I am worried about Christy. Are they able to deal with their mom's cancer? I wish they would tell me.

My brother and sister-in-law were here on Sunday. I needed to see family as it kept me busy. They have purchased some of the Dinner's Ready-type meals and Christy will put together for us tomorrow. Thank you Mike and Steph! We really need the meals as it wasn't something I got to on my "checklist before surgery".

Cancer is expensive, just in case you want to know.

Vic supports my wish to have a wig of my own hair. It is costly, close to what our mortgage is. But if it makes me feel better about me and cancer, I want to do it and he supports it. As he said, he is a man and can't relate to a female losing her hair.

We don't know if the health insurance company is paying for the genetic testing - $3200. In fact, we may have to pay my health insurance premiums if I go on "leave without pay" status for too long. That's $1100 a month. Now isn't that silly? What part of "leave without pay" gives anyone the idea that we would have the money to pay the $1100 a month premium?

I am hoping that tomorrow is a better day and I can cut down on the pain meds. Days like this are expected during this journey. And it's okay.


  1. Renee,

    I love you so much and I miss seeing your face everyday. When we were at the call center you were the one person that could always put a smile on my face =D

    I know the Lord completely has you in his hands.
    I pray for you constantly. You are my "work mom" remember?
    As soon as you are up for non family visitors you let me know k?
    You are a wonderful and amazing woman and I thank God that He brought you into my life.
    You fight the fight lady.
    Tell that hubby of yours that he is a wonderful husband for supporting you so well.

    So just to give you a laugh......
    What is Prince Henry's last name again? LOL

    That was the funniest moment ever!

    I love you!

  2. Renee,

    I am praying for you with your pain and nausea with taking pain meds. Boy, do I know all about that! I know the pain, and did I ever get sick, especially at first, and without food, with the meds.

    When Ken first got me out of the house to go out to eat, the food didn't come on time, and I had to run outside to get sick, then we brought the food home. So boy, I know how you're feeling.

    You have continually been in my thoughts and in my prayers! We will continue to pray! And for all the money stuff also, that part can be so stressful!!

    Love you!

  3. Let me start by saying that I am completely irked that I had to sign up for a Google account to post here. It goes against everything that I have been programmed to stand for!!

    That said, I am dealing with this just fine. The surgery scared me, both yours & Pops. Things can go wrong in ORs and that was my biggest concern. Losing one of my parents would have devestated me. Not to mentioned my kids.

    Now, unfortunatly, the rest of this will fall on you and your ability to deal with effects of chemo. We aren't a family that pukes happily and that you will have to go through this breaks my heart. I hope you won't be a tough ol' broad and suffer alone. We all love you so much and would do anything we can to lessen your burden - I would even pull weeds (but I would really rather not). Please tell me if I can do anything for you. I will drive Miss Daisy to chemo when ever you need it. I've heard they have popsicles.

    Once again, I love you and I really don't like Google. I mean, really, did you ever think of posting your blog on a Microsoft run service?