Sorry

Sept 4

I got sent home from work. No, not because I was in trouble, but because I was pale (and those that know me can say, "So? She's always pale"). By 11 am, I was starting to have some pain, which is a step above discomfort. I ran out to get lunch so I could take a half tablet of pain meds and not get too nauseous at work. Figured I could sit at my computer, work on a report and the pain meds wouldn't be too bothersome.

Let me stop in the middle of this dialogue to say that it felt so strange to be at work. I have been out for 16 days. While my life was on hold with this blasted cancer, other lives continued and life at the office continued. Not that I expected them to shut down the city because of me, it just was a weird feeling walking in and trying to pick up projects that others had to take on.

Back to the story . . . .
About 2 pm, the director asked me how I felt and my filter didn't kick in. I said, "I'm in a little pain, but it's okay". She suggested that I go home. But I don't want to go home, I say. I've been gone too long, I feel guilty for creating more work for my colleagues and I just couldn't stand being in this house any longer. I argued with her (imagine that). She then did the director thing, "I am ordering you . . . ". When the boss says that, you gotta do what they say!

I will take care of myself better tomorrow, though. I need to keep up with the small meals every couple of hours and increase the liquids - neither of which I did today.

An odd observation. I've been apologizing for having cancer. I apologized to Vic. Today, I apologized for having a 2nd surgery to the colleague who has/was volunteered to go to my meetings, take and transcribe minutes. I apologized to my supervisor when the director ordered me to go home. I apologized to Vic, again, for being sent home and losing a few hours of pay.

Please join me in praying for my sweet neighbor. LaRay is 80 years old and is the funniest woman I know in her age bracket :-) She has a sharper wit than me! Ms. LaRay was a very active and a spry woman when we moved to our home 6 years ago. A year later, she fell outside, breaking arm bones, and just hasn't been the same since. She now has Parkinson's disease and her sight is going. But her mind and spirit are strong! The Parkinson's causes unsteadiness during the daytime and she said she is unable to turn over in bed at night.

Ms. LaRay is a prayer warrior and prays throughout the day for me and others (including my daughter's job search). She shared with me today, James 5:16: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Ms. LaRay doesn't pray so God will heal her. She prays because that is who she is and she is calling God on his word . . . so that you may be healed.