Here We Go Again

Sept 7

I thought I had updated the blog to give the date of the 2nd (and last) surgery. It's tomorrow, Sept 8. Check in is at 7 am - which was the same as last time. We are hoping that we get in and out right away and no long waiting times in the waiting room. Vic will update this blog as the day progresses.

I hate these type of articles. This is about the type of cancer I have - Triple Negative. Doesn't it just scare the you know what out of you? It is a fear/thought in the very back region of my mind all the time. While I am not thrilled about going into surgery for the 2nd time, I don't want to give the cancer cells a chance to spread to other areas.

I've told myself that I am okay with tomorrow's surgery, but I'm not really there 100%. I do have my fears about the IVs and the surgery. And it's okay for me to have these fears. Just when I finally reached about 85% energy and lack of pain, I'm going back to surgery to get knocked back down to 0% energy and lack of pain (aka 100% pain). This 2nd surgery just sets the trip back and I don't like it. lol

To manage the overwhelming feelings of this cancer, I have broken it down into 4 segments. Segment 1 - surgery and recuperation. Segment 2 - chemotherapy with side effects and hair loss. This is the scariest part for me (now). Segment 3 - Radiation with fatigue. Segment 4 - frequent tests and doctor visits every 3 to 6 months for quite a few years.

For each segment, there are things that I need to do before (and during) in order to survive that segment. Finding two forums for Triple Negative Breast Cancer has helped in my research on these "things". Having the control of these "things" helps me to feel that I am taking some of the caretaker burden off of Vic while he is carrying the burden of our "normal" life.