Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Twas the Night Before Chemo

Sorry, was thinking about Christmas and trying to plan when I can go shopping for it. Oh, wait, that sounds like a planner to me. Yes, I work in a Planning Department, but I don't plan. Now isn't that just wrong? I used to be a Wedding Planner in Fresno at a couple of great churches. That was a fun time. I enjoyed the creativity and problem solving skills that I developed. I was so confident in life on the outside and to others, and sometimes I could fool myself. Life handed too many lemons at WSU and I bought into it. It only took me 5 years to get past the PTSD by owning my own antique store and being self employed, only to have them start again at the bank. Glad I don't work there anymore. It was blessing to be laid off from a job for the 2nd time in 2.5 years. Can't say it enough, God had his hand in this position with the city. I believe in God, pray to Him even tho I don't go to church. I miss the church community. I miss my dad.

Just some random thoughts before chemo.

It's 11:15 pm. I'm tired, but have had a nasty stomach ache and sweats since taking the morning steroids. It never got better through the workday despite two deadlines. I could have tried to pass one off to a co-worker, but didn't. Stubborn? No, wanted to spare my co-workers the usual extra work that this week brings for them.

After taking the 2nd does of steroids, the stomach is even worse. This is worse than the nausea after the 1st chemo. At least with that, I had anti nausea pills and would go to sleep. I took one of those MJ pills and it killed the ache somewhat. I should have gone to bed when it eased off, but noooooo, I decided to stay on the Net to read other people's blogs and comment.

My Rock is the best. I've noticed that he enters into a "mode" the night before chemo and continues until it appears that my energy level is up and no weird side effects are happening. This mode is his "caretaker" mode. And he does it with no complaints.

I woke up this morning to find he started our chemo chart. He highlighted the steroids that I was to start this morning. He picked up the anti nausea pills tonight from the drug store without being asked. He just did it. I wasn't going to ask him anyway as I was going to pick them up tomorrow on the way to chemo. He cooked dinner - concerned about the odors, searing the Jamaican Jerk chicken outside on the BBQ. He washed dishes and didn't want help. He's the best.

But he is in bed telling me to shut it down. So I will obey him. I do this sometimes. And sometimes I argue. That's another rambling thought so I'll stop before I type whatever comes to the top of the brain.

Yep I did write "strart" when I meant "stop". Okay, I wrote "strat" when I meant to write "start". I don't believe in chemo brain for 2 out of 4 treatments. Not possible. It's the stomach ache.

Many, many blessings and good health to you and your house!


P.S. Have you had your Vitamin D levels checked? Have you scheduled your mammogram?

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