October is . . . .

I haven't posted pics of the new hair do because I just can't get it quite right. But my hair was always like that before cancer. A week and a few days after a hair cut would find me fussing, and fussing some more, just to get the hair to go the way I wanted it to go. Too many cowlicks and growth patterns for one head, I do believe. I expect pics to be up soon though.

It has been an extremely difficult week. I won't go into details here, but just say that we need your prayers. My daughter has temporarily lost custody of her girls, ages 6 and 8. This is wrong. Nothing she did warranted this type of treatment by her husband and the legal system. Because he has friends in blue (police) and is part of the legal system, he has used both to leverage his child custody issue. And, now he has 100% control of my daughter like he has wanted. He is a domestic abuser. Flat out, I'll call it what it is.

It has been frustrating to watch my daughter go through this. We feel she should be doing much more to remedy the situation and take control of her life. It may be just too hard for her to see the truth about their relationship. It may be too hard for her to break free of his control. She wants to remain married to him. Classic domestic abuse victim. We have to let her make her choices; this is tough. As her parents and grandparents of two beautiful little girls, we want to "make it all better".

As a grandparent, we have no rights to visitation. We have asked, but he stated he has fears and concerns about letting us see the girls. What B.S. is that? Oh, yeah, the same B.S. that he put on the protection order that he was in fear for his and his children's safety from my daughter.

Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.

Domestic abuse not only affects those who are abused, but also has a substantial effect on family members. Children, who grow up witnessing domestic violence, are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure not only predisposes children to numerous social and physical problems, but also teaches them that violence is a normal way of life - therefore, increasing their risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.

Abuse usually gets worse over time. Yep, that has happened . . . . six years of him getting worse have led to this place.

Hey Mr. Husband, we have our fears and concerns as well. Fear that you will do more physical and psychological damage to the three girls in your life that you love so much. Because you know you will - unless you get help.

You've met your match, Mr. Husband. No wait. You've met someone better than you, Mr. Husband - me!

~Renee

Hair Cut

My first real haircut in over a year! Something so insignificant and routine in my past life, such as a hair cut, now gives me great joy. The length was 4" and the hairdresser said it is much thicker than "normal". Ahh, there goes that word again, "normal". The hair is still curly and I'm hoping it doesn't go back to straight!

We have moved the MRI and mammogram from December 17th to November 19th. I am glad. I need to have this cloud of the unknown that has been hanging over my head gone. G.O.N.E.! Not saying it's going to be cancer, but if it is, this will give us time to increase our medical flexible spending account for 2010 expenditures. Sad that we have to think this way, but we also want to be smart with the finances.

Besides, getting the MRI/mammo results on December 17th then flying to my mom's the next day for Christmas, wouldn't have been the best if the news was bad. Reminder - we aren't thinking it's going to be bad, but . . . .

It's been tough, quite honestly, not to continuously think about cancer. I truly believe that if we had received an "all clear" at the June mammo, I wouldn't still feel stuck in the land of cancer. I so want to move on . . . Worrying about the issue isn't going to make it better or go away. I know this. It's a challenge to give this all to God and leave it there.

Going back and reading where we were a year ago serves as a reminder that tho we went through alot, we came out that much stronger. I am so lucky to have a husband who has supported me 100% through this journey and continues to support. While he can't understand how my worry-brain works, his hugs just make it all better. I am thankful.

~Renee

Another Angel

I have been writing a new blog entry - in my head - for several weeks now. Soon, I will actually get it onto the blog!

But I wanted to share with you the spirit of a wonderful young lady who also went through a cancer diagnosis and treatment - Amber Chase. Her cancer is different from mine (Triple Negative) and is the one that, to me, is the hardest one to have diagnosed. It is called Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Many ladies are misdiagnosed for months and years - until it is too late and they are diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.

When you go to Amber's blog, please read up on Inflammatory Breast Cancer. And, more importantly, share this information with your daughters, nieces, and granddaughters.

Here is a link to one of Amber's blog entries. I encourage all to really read the last paragraph.
http://amberchase.weebly.com/1/post/2009/03/i-am-now-past-my-expiration-date.html

May this note find you living to your fullest.

xoxox

Renee