Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hair Cut

My first real haircut in over a year! Something so insignificant and routine in my past life, such as a hair cut, now gives me great joy. The length was 4" and the hairdresser said it is much thicker than "normal". Ahh, there goes that word again, "normal". The hair is still curly and I'm hoping it doesn't go back to straight!

We have moved the MRI and mammogram from December 17th to November 19th. I am glad. I need to have this cloud of the unknown that has been hanging over my head gone. G.O.N.E.! Not saying it's going to be cancer, but if it is, this will give us time to increase our medical flexible spending account for 2010 expenditures. Sad that we have to think this way, but we also want to be smart with the finances.

Besides, getting the MRI/mammo results on December 17th then flying to my mom's the next day for Christmas, wouldn't have been the best if the news was bad. Reminder - we aren't thinking it's going to be bad, but . . . .

It's been tough, quite honestly, not to continuously think about cancer. I truly believe that if we had received an "all clear" at the June mammo, I wouldn't still feel stuck in the land of cancer. I so want to move on . . . Worrying about the issue isn't going to make it better or go away. I know this. It's a challenge to give this all to God and leave it there.

Going back and reading where we were a year ago serves as a reminder that tho we went through alot, we came out that much stronger. I am so lucky to have a husband who has supported me 100% through this journey and continues to support. While he can't understand how my worry-brain works, his hugs just make it all better. I am thankful.



  1. Your hubby is a winner, I can vouch for that firsthand. You are a strong woman, and I have enjoyed watching you grow through this ordeal. You will get through this and your test will be negative with no signs, we're done, no more!

  2. As much as one tries not to, one occasionally remembers the 'dark side'. As for your 'distortion', I was warned that the 3 week study might cause more scarring (distortion)than usual so maybe that's what was observed. I have a mammogram this Tuesday and it better be all all clear too for many reasons, least of all, my new insurance will drop the place I was treated at.
    I haven't had a haircut since July 2008. I do have a 3 to 4 inch Can-fro. I will do something about it soon.

  3. Oh, Renee, congratulations on your first haircut! I remember that day, too, and I still occasionally think of it even now, three years later, when I'm sitting in the hairstylist's chair and looking at myself in the mirror!

    May God bless you and take you through each scan, test, etc., with ease. I am getting my "routine" MRI in November, then my ususal mammogram six months after that. Just part of the "new normal" that I'm learning to live with!

  4. Thank you one and all for your support.

    I remember when the girls were little and gaining their independence. They wanted to do everything themselves. But sometimes moms just *have* to step in to help. Their reply was always, "I can do it!". I'd pull my hands away and wait until they asked for help. It's sort of like that with the worry tug-o-war and turning it over to God.

    Sue - thank you for the information. I have left a message for my radiation oncologist to talk about the distortion. I hadn't heard about the distortion and the "Canadian study" treatment. . . it gives me further hope that the "architectural distortion" is not cancer.

  5. How exciting getting that first cut ... you`ll have to post a picture. I`d love to see it.

  6. wow, first hair cut, that is exciting, show us a pic! Wishing you all the best with your MRI and results.