Saturday, November 7, 2009

October is . . . .

I haven't posted pics of the new hair do because I just can't get it quite right. But my hair was always like that before cancer. A week and a few days after a hair cut would find me fussing, and fussing some more, just to get the hair to go the way I wanted it to go. Too many cowlicks and growth patterns for one head, I do believe. I expect pics to be up soon though.

It has been an extremely difficult week. I won't go into details here, but just say that we need your prayers. My daughter has temporarily lost custody of her girls, ages 6 and 8. This is wrong. Nothing she did warranted this type of treatment by her husband and the legal system. Because he has friends in blue (police) and is part of the legal system, he has used both to leverage his child custody issue. And, now he has 100% control of my daughter like he has wanted. He is a domestic abuser. Flat out, I'll call it what it is.

It has been frustrating to watch my daughter go through this. We feel she should be doing much more to remedy the situation and take control of her life. It may be just too hard for her to see the truth about their relationship. It may be too hard for her to break free of his control. She wants to remain married to him. Classic domestic abuse victim. We have to let her make her choices; this is tough. As her parents and grandparents of two beautiful little girls, we want to "make it all better".

As a grandparent, we have no rights to visitation. We have asked, but he stated he has fears and concerns about letting us see the girls. What B.S. is that? Oh, yeah, the same B.S. that he put on the protection order that he was in fear for his and his children's safety from my daughter.

Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.

Domestic abuse not only affects those who are abused, but also has a substantial effect on family members. Children, who grow up witnessing domestic violence, are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure not only predisposes children to numerous social and physical problems, but also teaches them that violence is a normal way of life - therefore, increasing their risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.

Abuse usually gets worse over time. Yep, that has happened . . . . six years of him getting worse have led to this place.

Hey Mr. Husband, we have our fears and concerns as well. Fear that you will do more physical and psychological damage to the three girls in your life that you love so much. Because you know you will - unless you get help.

You've met your match, Mr. Husband. No wait. You've met someone better than you, Mr. Husband - me!



  1. my heart is breaking for you, for your daughter and your two sweet and beautiful a social worker for nearly 30 years - i have seen so much of this tragedy...

  2. Oh Renee, This is awful!! Here in Michigan Grandparents have visitation rights. Hopefully that will spread to other states.But in the mean time, I hope your daughter will see the light and leave this person. Unfortunately it looks like there will be a court battle ahead. Your daughter is blessed to have you in her corner.

  3. Oh Renee,

    My heart hurts that this is happening to your family. My prayers are with you and your daughter and your granddaughters. Make sure you find a GOOD attorney to protect YOUR rights. You are right, this is so wrong. To use and manipulate the system to gain the advantage/control is absolutely despicable.
    If there is a GOD (and we know there IS) what goes around will come around and the courts will see him for the miserable person that he is and rectify this situation. Your daughter needs a wake up call, if this isn't it, I don't know what is. You are definitely in my prayers as always, but will send more your way.

    Luv you girlfriend!

  4. When I read of situations like this I cringe. I can't tell you how many women I have known over the years who have remained in the control of their abusers. Your daughter needs help but not the kind you are giving her she needs to see someone who will teach her to empower herself for the sake of her children and for herself.
    You are definitely in my prayers along with your grandchildren. I am so sorry you are going through this..
    Alli Xx