Friday, November 20, 2009

New Man

I have a new man in my life. His name is Ned. That's short for
No Evidence of Disease

Monday - the mammogram
As the tech was leaving the room after taking a few pictures, I asked that the radiologist return with her to give me the results. I explained that the last time, she returned to the room, she stated that it "was clear". I took that as clear of cancer, yippy, skippy. No; what she meant was the digital films were clear. This time, I wanted to have all the information before leaving the building. The Radiologist came in and said that there was no evidence of cancer. It was clear.

Then why couldn't I yell "yahoo" and dance around the room. I just didn't want to get my hope up until after the MRI on Thursday.

Thursday - the MRI @ 2 p.m.
The MRI went much smoother and easier than last time. Maybe it was the Xanax and Valium I had in my system. :-) It was only about 20 minutes and voila done. We grabbed a bite to eat in the hospital cafeteria, waiting for the 4 p.m. oncologist appointment. Still a little apprehensive until we heard the MRI results from the oncologist as we waited in the exam room. And waited.

I hopped onto the exam table and took a snooze; nice sleepy drugs. And waited. Vic finally went out to the front at 4:45 p.m. and had the oncologist paged. No idea why she took so long.

The MRI radiologist had not entered a report into the computer system, so the Oncologist briefly reviewed the MRI pics. She had stated that she's not trained to read them but went through a few screens and said it looked good. She would call me at work in the morning with the results from the radiologist.

I still could not muster up a lot of joy. Paranoia?

I really wanted to bring in some goodies to work this morning to celebrate NED with my coworkers. They knew about the MRI. I didn't want to say anything until I had heard from the oncologist, at which time I was going to run out to the store. She was going to call my work with the MRI results. I waited.

I had told a few of my female coworkers when I got into work that I was NED and stated that I was still waiting for a call from the oncologist to confirm the MRI. At noon, I decided to share the info with the men of the department in an email. When talking to the guys about the cancer, it seemed their eyes would travel down to the chest area. Were they trying to figure out which one was fake? Ha, , none of them are fake. A little smaller perhaps from the lumpectomy.

At noon, I checked my home's voice mail to discover a message from the MRI clinic. . . it came in at 10:25 a.m. They found a 5mm spot on the lumpectomy breast and a 4mm spot on the other. I needed an ultrasound to check it out . . . but, hey, didn't they tell you that the MRI picks up everything? It's probably nothing, but we want to be overly cautious, said the sweet MRI tech. Umm, nope, no one said a thing about this. She tried to schedule me for next Tuesday. No friggin' way was I waiting until Tuesday. I asked her to find a clinic associated with their hospital, anywhere in the state, that would do the ultrasound TODAY. She was able to get me into a clinic fairly close to our home at 1 p.m.

My sweet husband said he would grab a bus and meet me at the hospital (he works about an hour north of my job). No, honey, it's nothing. I can do this; you've missed enough time from work, blah, blah, blah. I'm fine.

Ultrasound @ 1 pm
Ultrasound on both sides, with the tech reviewing the MRI films. Oh, I so wanted to be Vic, "don't worry about it until they tell you to worry about it". But I'm me. . . . mind you I wasn't sobbing, but the eyes were leaky. Happy thought, happy thought, think happy thoughts! Where are those darn happy thoughts? Bleh. . couldn't get them.

While the tech could see something, she felt confident the spots weren't cancerous. She stepped out of the room to speak with the radiologist. In hindsight, I should have asked that he come back into the room with her after their consultation. When she returned to the room, she stated that the radiologist agreed that the two areas were clear and that we just have to be over-cautious. I'll have another MRI in 6 months.

Walking out into the lobby I saw my hubby. Guess he didn't listen to me. :-) And I'm so glad he didn't.

I called the Oncologist to find out for sure what the ultrasound showed and did it jive with what the tech had told me. I waited. Those of you who have been on this journey know that we do not wait very well. About 5 p.m. the oncology nurse called and said the ultrasound was clear. However, the MRI would be repeated in 6 months. I suggested that we do it in 3 months given the aggressiveness of the cancer. Nurse indicated that the doctor does 3 month checks on certain cases, and where indicated, but would do mine every 6 months. I have news for the nurse - I'll be pushing for a check every 3 months until the mammo, MRI and ultrasound all come back with the same conclusion.

Lesson learned: expect an ultrasound after each MRI.

Regarding the child custody issue - it isn't good. I don't have the whole story from my daughter's hearing today. Just know that our hearts are heavy . . . trying our best to not have them break.

This will be my last entry for a few months. If you want to stay connected, please feel free to click on the Facebook link and add me as a friend. Sister Warriors - I will keep reading your blogs and cheering you on!

Much love and thankfulness for your support,



  1. Renee, dear one....what a journey...i will miss you blog...i read you and hugs,

  2. I'll continue to pray for you and your daughter. Hang in there and keep looking up! :)

  3. I'm glad your dancing with Ned. Sorry they had to worry you so much. Hope your daughter gets the babies back and then all will be right with the world.