Not zippity-do-da-the-sun-is-shinning wonderful.
Each day seems to be a struggle . . . sometimes mental;
My bones ache.
My muscles ache.
My brain is fuzzy.
Each day is not the same.
You (I) tell yourself (myself) that every headache is not brain cancer.
You (I) tell yourself (myself) that the pain in the hips is not bone cancer.
You (I) tell yourself (myself) that you (I) will not cry when talking with the doctor about the pain.
You (I) tell yourself (myself) to go on with life and ignore these things.
Not everything in your (my) world is related to cancer.
This is your (my) new normal. That f-ing comment that you (I) hate. Yep hate; not polite "dislike". But hate.
17 months since chemo ended.
15 months since radiation ended.
I truly thought I would be back to me once the hair grew. That was the measurement, the goal, that all would be well with our (my) world. It's not.
I have a job.
I have a house.
I have a car.
Okay, it could be worse.
MRI this Thursday.
6-month follow up with oncologist the following Thursday.
We (I) will be more than okay if we (I) don't hear the words, "There's a spot that we want to keep an eye on. Probably nothing, but. . . ."
Follow-up appointment with regular doctor to determine if it's just fibromyalgia.
Just sharing some of the things going on in our (my) life.
Hoped that it would be an uplifting blog entry. It's not. Oh well. It's okay.
Going outside as the sun is shining. Maybe it'll help get the zippity-do-day back into our (my) world.