Thursday, August 20, 2009

One Year Survivor

Today marks the one year anniversary of survivorship.

Some count the day from diagnosis,
but I have chosen the date from removal of the tumor.

If I stop to think about all that has happened in the past year - good and bad - I believe I would be in a puddle of tears and also amazed. Amazed that we came out of the journey stronger in our marital relationship. Amazed that the treatment wasn't too bad. Yeah, that's hindsight talking. Maybe I should go back to the beginning of this blog and re-read what I was feeling and thinking during chemo!

From Wendy Harpham on Health Survivorship

Healthy Survivorship is not about what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you. Healthy Survivors recognize and grieve their losses. And while they are grieving, they make the effort to look for opportunities to do those things that can be done even better than before because of what they've lost.

I realize that I the need to acknowledge and grieve my loss. I've been stuck at that point in the healing process. Yet, I feel that I am in still in this blasted process until I get the clear scans in December. I'll work on it either way.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

California Dreamin'

Super busy at work - too much work and not enough people. What were they thinking laying off two people on our admin team? One of the remaining team members reads their book at their desk when they should be working. That leaves three of us busting out azzes to just keep our heads above the water. It's not fair. But life isn't fair either. What goes around, comes around. I'm such a believer in that.

Have had many late night meetings and will have many more through November. I'm not happy about it as they all fall on me. See above - someone in their stupidity cut two support positions. What were they thinking? lol I refuse to walk on water or even try to walk on water. I gave that up years ago when I decided trying to be perfect and a people pleaser was killing me.

Vic went to California last Wednesday and came home today. I am so glad he is back! I get nauseous having to give the cat his twice daily insulin injections. At least I don't cry any more! Yippee, making progress. I missed the guy . . my friend, my love.

Health continues to be fine. I feel like my brain is coming back really well. I can multitask and don't need as many reminders, ticklers and lists upon lists to function at work. I feel like me again and I'm very happy about it. Hair is growing and is still curly! The curl is loosening somewhat, but it's not my normal straight. I'm loving it tho.

The December MRI and mammogram and "
distorted architecture" still sits in the back of the mind. I'm telling myself that I can make it another 3 months . . . meetings will be done, MRI and mammogram will be done. Family from California will be here the day after I receive the MRI results. I am sooooooo believing for a clear scan!

Sending hugs to my breast cancer sisters going through treatment. And high fiving those who have completed.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Only through caring

are we truly attached

to each other

Borrowed from someone else . .