Two Martini Lunches

If I DID have two martini lunches, I definitely wouldn't be going back to work afterwards. Maybe this might not be a bad thing.

Actually, my supervisor agreed to my plan to help lessen the fatigue by taking two hour lunches. I live fairly close to home and would probably have 1.5 hours of rest and quiet to get me through the rest of the afternoon. I start this on Monday.

We have quite a few extra evening meetings in April and May and I knew I couldn't keep going like I have been. . . . Superwoman. For the next six weeks, some will have one or two meetings. My supervisor asked the other Admin to cover a few for me. My colleague is going on vacation the last week of April and first week of May. . . .oh boy. My supervisor agreed that some other support staff will help with phones and such so I can get through these blasted meetings. Come June, my life will return to staffing two evening meetings and two late afternoon meetings a month.

I've put in for intermittent leave and my doctor has signed a form with the medicalese that says I need more rest. Supervisor has signed my request, now the Director needs to sign. Not sure if I'll qualify for shared leave again; but either way, my vacation and sick leave will be depleted again. And here Vic and I were hoping to have a vacation this year to celebrate getting through 2008.

I was displeased to see that the doctor responded with "six months or more" to the question of how long I would have this "condition" aka fatigue. I am truly hoping and believing that having the consistent long breaks in the middle of the day will help. Maybe Vic won't be the only one doing things around the house during the work week if I get the added rest.

I try to find peace and remind myself that "this" won't be forever when the toes are burning and the nails are hurting. It will be my reality for a few months. I may rail against my body and whine about it in this blog. No, I will 99% probably -- none of this "may" stuff. I believe I am reaching the place where I am friggin' angry at cancer. I am pleased that I never fell into the victim role during this journey. I couldn't go in that direction - my energy had to be spent on putting one foot in front of the other to get through the surgeries, chemo and radiation and show up at work. Anger can be a good thing.

The City has announced that it will lay off employees. This is the first time in a very long time that the City has had to do this. Morale is down and lots of people are concerned. I'm not worried about it, though. It feels really strange to say that because a loss of a job or fear of losing a job used to send me into a tailspin. My last two positions were eliminated.

First elimination :-) , I was devastated; no matter how much they told me it wasn't me or something I did. As a contractor for Dept. of Corrections, DOC decided that my position should be at their HQ. I didn't want to drive an hour each way, so I was out of a job. The second time of being "eliminated", I was scared but thankful - it wasn't a good job fit. Maybe I'm calm because I've "been there, done that"? Heck! I can't look too far in the future - have to deal with just getting through 8 hours of work each day, so maybe that's it! lol

We are hoping for good weather tomorrow. I just want to go pull weeds. Now, don't laugh. But I like to pull weeds - it's instant gratification. Maybe I'll purchase some annuals just to have color and perk up our life. We need some perking! That's my hope for tomorrow. . . .we'll see if the energy holds and rain clouds stay away.

One more week for Vic's surgery! Whoo hoo!!

Over and out,

Renee