Can I vent?
If your answer is no, you may want to click over to another site.
It’s been 204 days since the first surgery
It’s been 185 days since the second surgery
It’s been 100 days since the final chemo
It’s been 37 days since the final radiation
Aren’t we done yet with this cancer thing and side effects?
One would think that with this many days since something happened or ended, I would be back to normal. Yeah, yeah, I know, I will have a new “normal”. I STILL want to know who coined that crappy phrase.
I don’t want this new normal if it means having finger nails and toe nails wanting to depart from my body. Leave already! Let’s get this show on the road. Stick a fork in me, I am so done! I’m tired of babying my left middle finger. Don’t you think this is an appropriate finger to have a nail fall off? I just love showing people this special finger. They go, “Ewwwwww” and then laugh because it’s the middle finger. Some of them don’t know that I really AM flipping them off. IT.HURTS. It hurts to type and in my profession, I type a lot . . . and then it throbs. T.H.R.O.B.S.
The left ring finger still has the red stuff underneath. This is how Mr, Lefty Middlefinger looked several weeks ago. It’s uncomfortable if I press on the top. So, don’t press on it, Renee, you say.
But wait, why should the right hand be left out of the fun? The ring finger is starting to turn opaque white like Mr. Lefty Middlefinger. And it is uncomfortable. Can’t say it HURTS, but it’s getting to that stage. The right middle finger has the red stuff and it hurts.
Let’s do the math here. Two fingers on the left hand + two fingers on the right hand = 4 fingers.
Wait boys and girls, there’s more! For just $19.95, you too can have toes that throb and burn 24 hours a day. Many toenails have the same white opaque as Mr. Lefty Middlefinger. At night, if one of them decides to get caught by the sheet, whamo bamo . . . T.H.R.O.B.
Okay, I’m done. Just had to get that off my chest. But dang it all if Mr. Lefty Middlefinger doesn’t T.H.R.O.B. from that fast, furious typing.
No need to comment. Just nod your head. And send chocolate.
I will remind myself that some other TNBCs have it worse and would gladly trade throbbing nails to have more days with their family.
Peace over and out!